If you've ever had the vague feeling that you were being manipulated but couldn't quite put your finger on the moment you could have said no, that was a direct encounter with the principle of autonomy. Every choice you make is an autonomous decision made by you, and the limits on your choices aren't always what they seem.
People who benefit from limiting our choices are full of contrivances and machinations to push us down a path they chose for us. But we also construct prisons for ourselves out of our past hurts, ideas about how things "should" be, and our attachments to people, places, and things. We show what matters to us by what we prioritize, but what happens when these things are misaligned?
Here's what autonomy looks like:
- Choosing from a place of joy rather than obligation when we place others' needs alongside our own.
- Navigating high pressure situations with grace, knowing that manipulation by others places no limits on our possibilities.
- Getting really clear about what's important to us so that our choices reflect our desire for those things to expand in our lives.
- Refusing to make ourselves small so that other people can feel big without growing.
Autonomy is what happens when we are secure in our ability to consent, and to withdraw consent. This means developing a sense of self-respect where we love ourselves enough to uphold our needs under pressure from others. When others contrive to undermine our boundaries and decisions, they are responsible for their own feelings when we stand in our autonomy.
